joke of Mulla Nasrudin
Mulla Nasrudin
More useful
Nasrudin entered the teahouse and declaimed: ‘The Moon is more useful than the Sun.’ ‘Why, Mulla?’ ‘We need the light more during the night than during the day.’
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‘Mulla Nasrudin.
What Is Real Evidence?
A neighbour called on Nasrudin. ‘Mulla, I want to borrow your donkey.’ ‘I am sorry,’ said the Mullah, ‘but I have already lent it out.’ As soon as he had spoken, the donkey brayed. The sound came from Nasruding’s stable. ‘But Mulla, I can hear the donkey, in here!’ As he shut the door in the man’s face, Nasrudin said, with dignity: ‘A man who believes the word of a donkey in preference to my word does not deserve to be lent anything.’
The high cost of learning
Nasrudin decided that he could benefit by learning something new. He went to see a master musician. ‘How much do you charge to teach lute-playing?’ ‘Three silver pieces for the first month; after that, one silver piece a month.’ ‘Excellent!’ said Nasrudin. ‘I shall begin with the second month.’
More useful
Nasrudin entered the teahouse and declaimed: ‘The Moon is more useful than the Sun.’ ‘Why, Mulla?’ ‘We need the light more during the night than during the day.’
I must save the Moon
Nasrudin was walking past a well, when he had the impulse to look into it. It was night, and as he peered into the deep water, he saw the Moon’s reflection there. ‘I must save the Moon!’ the Mulla thought. ‘Otherwise she will never wane, and the fasting month of Ramadan will never come to an end.’ He found a rope, threw it in and called down: ‘Hold tight; keep bright; succour is at hand!’ The rope caught in a rock inside the well, and Nasrudin heaved as hard as he could. Straining back, he suddenly felt the rope give as it came loose, and he was thrown on his back. As he lay there, panting, he saw the Moon riding in the sky above. ‘Glad to be of service,’ said Nasrudin. ‘Just as well I came along, wasn’t it?’
The use of a light
I can see in the dark,’ boasted Nasrudin one day in the teahouse. ‘If that is so, why do we sometimes see you carrying a light through the streets?’ ‘Only to prevent other people from colliding with me.’
There is a different time-scale
Nasrudin went to a Turkish bath. As he was poorly dressed the attendants treated him in a casual manner, game him only a scrap of soap and an old towel. When he left, Nasrudin gave the two men a gold coin each. He had not complained, and they could not understand it. Could it be, they wondered, that if he had been better treated he would have given an even larger tip? The following week Nasrudin appeared again. This time, of course, he was looked after like a king. After being massaged, perfumed and treated with the utmost deference, he left the bath, handing each attendant the smallest possible copper coin. ‘This, said Nasrudin,, ‘is for last time. The gold coins were for this week.
Fixed ideas
‘How old are you, Nasrudin?’ ‘Forty.’ ‘But you said the same last time I asked you, two years ago!’ ‘Yes, I always stand by what I have said.’
Why Camels have no wings
‘Daily’, said Nasrudin to his wife, ‘I become more amazed at the manner in which nature is organized; and the way in which everything upon this earth is in some way planned for the benefit of mankind.’ She asked for an example. ‘Well, for instance, you note that camels have no wings, by the mercy of Providence.’ ‘How does that help us?’ ‘Don’t you see? If they had wings they might roost on housetops, and destroy the roofs, to say nothing of the noise and the nuisance of their chewing and spitting their cud.’
Tit for tat
Nasrudin went into a shop to buy a pair of trousers. Then he changed his mind and chose a cloak instead, at the same price. Picking up the cloak he left the shop. ‘You have not paid,’ shouted the merchant. ‘I left you the trousers, which were of the same value as the cloak.’ ‘But you did not pay for the rousers either.’ ‘Of course not, ‘ said Nasrudin - ‘why should I pay for something that I did not want to buy?’
Strange that you should ask . . .
Nasrudin climbed into someone’s kitchen garden and started filling a sack with everything that he could lay his hands on. A gardener was him and came running. ‘What are you doing here?’ ‘I was blown here by a high wind.’ ‘And who uprooted the vegetables?’ ‘I caught hold of them to stop myself being swept along.’ ‘And how does it come that there are vegetables in that sack?’ ‘That is just what I was wondering about when you interrupted me.’
Why don’t you ?
Nasrudin went to the shop of a man who stocked all kinds of bits and pieces.
‘Have you got nails?’ he asked.
‘Yes.’
‘And leather, good leather?’
‘Yes.’
‘And twine?’
‘Yes.’
‘And dye?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then why, for Heaven’s sake, don’t you make a pair of boots?’
A word for it
Hearing that a man wanted to learn the Kurdish language, Nasrudin offered to teach him. Nasrudin’s own knowlege of Kurdish was limited to a few words.
‘We shall start with the word for "Hot Soup", ‘said Nasrudin. ‘In Kurdish, this is Aash.’ ‘I don’t quite understand, Nasrudin. How would you say "Cold Soup"?’ ‘You never say "Cold Soup". The Kurds like their soup hot.’
When to Worry
Nasrudin’s donkey was lost. Everyone helped him to search the neighbourhood. Someone said: ‘You don’t seem at all worried. You realize, do you not, that your donkey may never be found?’ Nasrudin said: ‘You see that hill, yonder? Nobody has looked there yet. If they don’t find it there, then I’ll start worrying.’
Forgotten himself
Nasrudin called at a castle to collect for charity. ‘tell your master’, he said to doorkeeper, ‘that Mullah Nasrudin is here and asks for money.’ The man went into the building, then came out again. ‘I am afraid that my master is out, ‘he said. ‘Let me give you a message for him, then,’ said Nasrudin. ‘Even though he has not contributed he can have this advice, free. Next time he goes out he should not leave his face at the window. Someone might steal it.
Idiots
Carrying home a load of delicate glassware, Nasrudin dropped it in the street. Everything was smashed. A crowd gathered.
‘What’s the matter with you, idiots?’ howled Nasrudin. ‘Haven’t you ever seen a fool before?’
If God wills it
Nasrudin had saved up to buy a new shirt. He went to a tailor’s shop, full of excitement. The tailor measured him and said: ‘Come back in a week, and if God wills - your shirt will be ready.’ Nasrudin contained himself for a week and then went back to the shop. ‘There has been a delay. But - if God wills - your shirt will be ready tomorrow.’ The following day Nasrudin returned. ‘I am sorry,’ said the tailor, ‘but it not quite finished. Try tomorrow, and - if God wills - it will be ready.’ ‘How long will it take’, asked the exasperated Nasrudin, ‘if you leave God out of it?’
Obligation
Nasrudin nearly fell into a pool. A man whom he knew slightly was near and saved him. Every time he met Nasrudin after that he would remind him of the service which he had performed. When this had happened several times Nasrudin took him to the water, jumped in, stood with his head just above water and shouted: ‘Now I am as wet as I would have been if you had not saved me! Leave me alone.’
Why ask me?
Nasrudin was riding along one day when his donkey took fright at something in its path and started to bolt. As he sped past them at an unaccustomed pace some countrymen called out: ‘Where are you going, O Nasrudin, so fast?’ ‘Don’t ask me,’ shouted Nasrudin, ‘ask my donkey!’
A penny less to pay
Sitting near some stepping-stones across a river, Nasrudin saw that ten blind men wanted to cross the stream. He offered to help them over for a penny each. They accepted and he started to take them across. Nine were safely delivered to the further bank. But, as he was making his way with the tenth, the unfortunate man tripped and was carried away by the flood. Sensing something amiss the nine survivors began calling out: ‘What happened, Nasrudin?’ ‘A penny less to pay, ‘said Nasrudin.
Not worth keeping
Seeing something glittering in the gutter, Nasrudin ran to pick it up. It was a metal mirror. Looking at it closely, he saw his face reflected in it. ‘No wonder it was thrown away - nothing as ugly as this could possibly appeal to anyone. The fault is in me, for I picked it up without reasoning that it must be something unpleasant.’
Assumptions
What is the meaning of fate, Mulla?’
‘Assumptions.’
‘In what way?’
‘You assume things are going to go well, and they don’t - that you call bad luck. You assume things are going to go badly and they don’t - that you call good luck. You assume that certain things are going to happen or not happen - and you so lack ituition that you don’t know what is going to happen. You assume that the future is unknown.
‘What you are caught out - you call that Fate.’
The Reason
The Mullah went to a rich man.
‘Give me some money.’
‘Why?’ ‘I want to buy … an elephant.’
‘If you have no money, you can’t afford to keep an elephant.’
‘I came here’, said Nasrudin, ‘to get money, not advice.’
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